I called my Doctor's Office

Well, I cancelled my Appointment with my Doctor for the 10th of January ! I told them that I am taking a brake ! The Nurse told me to give them one more Blood test on Monday . I said " No problem !

Disney World here we come !

Well , everything is getting better ! We are finally made up our minds ! We are going to Disney World ! Ad ll the arguing is over : I got what I wanted  <<< hehehe >>>
The Kids will rent a car in NC. and they drive here ! Then they spend the night and the next day we are leaving for Orlando ! I am so excited !!!!
I will enjoy this trip and soak  it all in ! That will keep me going for the next couple of month ! I will rent a motorized Wheelchair !

He treats me like shit

Yesterday my sweet Husband told me that he is sick of me ! WOW , and I am cruel . I was so stunned that my mouth stood open for a while !
Oldest son called and found out from me that W. called Pat and them and invited  them to his house ! It really upset me that he didn't think he should have talked to his son first . When our son called later W flipped out after he hung up with him . He screamed at me that we are conspiring against him . I am sick of being treated this way ! So I will no longer participate in his  " Mind games " ! I guess everybody is on his own ! I know that I don't deserve to be treated like this , it is bad enough that I feel so weak and sick !
But that just wakes up the inner Bitch in me and I will just no longer talk or do anything for him ! No more ! Needless to say I went to bed at Midnight , hoping he would sleep in the Living room again . This morning I woke up and he was in Bed , what really made me get out of the bed . I took his Truck and went to 2 WM just to get me some stuff . The place was packed ! I started sweating , it was so warm in there . but I am home now 14:30
and I can't wait to get back in my Bed and just vegetate ! I will NEVER forgive him for his Attitude ! NEVER !  I made up my mind ! I will start to workout and get stronger and stronger ! World watch out ! I will free myself !

The School shooting haunts me

Woke up with this incredible Pain in my Kidneys and Stomach ! No ; instead of taking a Pain pill right away , I tried to just handle it . After Hours with this Pain I finally took one and also 2 over the counter pain pills . The worst thing is not having Hepatitis c and Cancer ; it is how isolated I feel . Friends that I know for Years have not yet called or mentioned a few nice thoughts . Now all my Friends that I still have in  Germany and all over the United States ; they call :) People that I know for 30 Years are Liane ,
Gitte , Elke who lives in Indianapolis , Doris who lives in Texas has ALWAYS been there for me ! She was in School with me and when KATRINA happened she was such a good Friend ! A couple of days ago she send me a Snow Globe Music Box ! It is beautiful . And Elke send me some " Goodies " from Indianapolis :) It is moments like this where I feel so grateful and blessed .
Well , needless to say I must have done too much ! I decorated , did my floors did Laundry and put Clothe away . I made a Bag for Veterans to be picked up . So that is probably why I felt so weak today and I will try not to do so much all in one day .
This School shooting had me so depressed since it happened . Such Babies , just gunned down !

Finally Chemo !

Thursday I went to Chemo and I felt like I was on Speed from the 10 Steroids I had to  take ! When the Nurse hooked me up it felt like MY FIRST CHEMO ! I brought some gifts and gave it to the 2 Nurses and it made their day !
Charlotte and Theresa :) very nice Nurses !
We been fuzzing about the trip to Disney , he wants to go to a  cheaper Hotel . Well, I just have to plan different but I WILL GO TO DISNEY !
Friday , Saturday , Sunday and Monday I just stayed in Bed . The Pain in my Joints was so bad that I cried ! But then my Kidney hurt and also my Liver . I felt like nobody gives a shit . I noticed that I get more depressed ... maybe the Holidays ?

I got some new pictures ! Ho ho ho :)

No Eyelashes or Nose hair !

RIP HELGA

Gitte called me yesterday and told me that her Mother died ! I was shocked but she has been on my mind . Gitte was really in shock ; I could hear it in her voice ! Life is crazy ! Before you know it your life is over . It is this part that I don't like .
I have been going to bed early and getting up early , yeah ... I have to take care of myself :) Weldon is in his sleeping stage ( Stays up until 3 AM and sleeps til noon ) Yes that really helps my Mood :)
The past 2 days I have been putting a few Christmas Decorations up . Very small Tree and lot's of Stuffed Animals ! Changed the Table cloth and put some more up . Now ,I told Hubby if his shit is not out of the Living room soon , there will be no Christmas ! But I really really need to have Christmas this Year . I don't know why ; or do I ?

Again , no Chemo !

All weekend I been trying to stop my Anxiety about my next Chemo ! This time I thought I was smart and scheduled my Chemo and then showed up at the Hospital ! Well , this time the " Chemo General " told me to get a blood test first ! They took Blood last Thursday so what the hell ? Anyway , since I promised my self and my higher Power , that I will no longer STRESS , So I went next door,  gave blood and while we where waiting for results I unpacked my I pad , took my Lunch out <<< which consisted of a piece of cheese cake and a Banana >>> when the Chemo general told me that my Platelets where too low to get my Treatment ! I was so angry ( but I did not show it ) It was so hard in the morning to get up so early 6 AM to take the 5 Pills for the Chemo so it won't make me sick  . But without the Chemo those damn pills made me so sick that I could not function after I got home . By the way my Platelets where at 62 and I need to have at least 100 or MAYBE 90 ! Very disappointing day ! Weldon has been feeling really weak also and sleeps a lot .

Ready for Chemo on Thursday

Everything is shrinking ; in my Body . The Dr. said that I am responding well ! What a relieve ! So this Thursday I am going to Chemo and by God I will sit there doing  my 7 Hour IV without complaining ! I have to make me a sandwich to bring it . And I will bring my I Pad :)