RIP My dear Husband !

Nothing will ever be the same again ! You fought until the end ! I miss you so much and hope you are with your Mother and Sister and our Rhonda ! You gave me 30 good Years and I would be the Woman that I am today without you ! You where my Life ! My Friend and you guided me through life , but now I have to grow up and take my life into my own Hands ! I know you wanted me too . I did everything that you wanted about your " Celebration of your Life " and I know that you where with me when I did my speech ! Thanks for standing behind me ! Thank you 4 the wonderful Years you gave me for the Fun we had and for the Buddy system that we had together ! I will always love you and I will finish Brandon's History on the Linden's , just like I promised you ! I Our Boys are my Rock and so is our Grandson ! You  will live on in their Life's just like you will live on in my Life . There will NEVER be another Man that could even compare to you ! I miss you and I am so sad and heart broken , but I know I am selfish ! Now you have no more pain ,no more gasping for Air ! You fought like a SOLDIER that you are , and you had to leave me . I understand but in a way I ask myself why you ! But Chad is telling me that I was stronger and that is why he took you from me ! Maybe I am strong but I will NEVER be as strong as you where ! I love and miss you so much !

Another horrible Night !

It has been a terrible week for Weldon and  I can just watch him go downhill ! I told him tonoght that we need to go to the Hospital tomorrow ! It is Midnight and I am so worried about him . He tells me everyday what a Angel I am and I tell him that I will always be there for him !

Cough will not stop !

When  I got  up , Weldon told me that he thinks that he might should go to    the Hospital ! What ? What is happening ? I  keep  telling  him that everything will get better and that was enough for him to feel  better  ! After a couple of Hours he felt better . Last Night he was coughing so bad again that it worries me so him to have much !  I want him to have hope !
I went shopping since we needed groceries . It took me about a Hour after Winn Dixie and picking up his Meds before I came  home . He is doing good and  Dr. Morales  called his Medication in since Weldon has out of Cough sirup .
Liane is coming on the 20th of June and spends 8 weeks with us . I am so glad that she is coming ; she is such a dear Friend !

RIP JIM CLARK

What a change in my Life ! Nothing is the same and might never be the same again . With Weldon it is a constant up and down . Yesterday his legs filled a little with Fluid but after he took a Water pill he got better . Our oldest Son came by with our Grand daughter ! Yeah he was shocked how bad his Father looks ! It is a shame that I had to " make " him come ! I never know what I wake up 2 . Today he seems a little manic but I am not sure .
Saturday I picked up Steaks at our Veterans Club but I really wasn't myself all day . On Thursday Erna spend the Night , Weldon wanted to go to the Casino so we went . We ate there and then played a little and around 17:00 we left for home . After that her and me went to the Veterans Club and had a few Beers ( first time in a looooong time ) I left my Car there and picked it up the next day !

Another Friend is sick

My Friend Jim has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and I am really so sad about that ! It seems like anyone you see has one thing or another ! It is so sad ! I will finish writing this tomorrow ! Found out that his Lymphoma is stage 3 !

Tornados in Oklahoma

Yesterday we went to the Heart Doctor and he took him off of one Pill , now only 16 Pills !
Then we went to WD and bought some stuff picked up our Medications and went back home . Since I took a Pain pill yesterday I felt a little Energy so when we came home so I went in my Garden and started to trim more Trees ! Yup , up on that Ladder again ! It was 90 Degrees and 30 Minutes in the Heat was enough for me ... I took a 2 Hour Brake and went back out there for another Hour by then the Sun wasn't so bad !
Today I slept until 2 PM because I could not sleep last night and I was still up at 4 AM . So I started my day late but I fixed me my Juice and drank 2 Big Glasses ! Now it is 8:30 PM and I am beat because today I finished the " Cutting of the Trees " even went to the house next door that is still empty since 2005 and trimmed his crap because I am sick of the Owner not doing anything with this House . He comes by 2 times a Year and all he does is cut the Grass and leaves it laying there . I will have to get off my ass and talk to the Parish President again because I am fed up !
Anyway I will go and play some Games and then chill . Tomorrow I have to get up by 10 AM to get \
W 's Ultrasound of his stomach !
We are both in deep Depression because of the Oklahoma F5 Tornado that was 17 miles long and the destruction is devastating ! That is why I couldn't sleep because it reminded me of Hurricane Katrina ! I was crying and praying for those poor people ! I will never forget how I felt when we had to go to a Red Cross Shelter and it was scary also . You are in this big Building and thousands of people are laying on the Floor on Blankets and Cots ! My heart is braking while I watched it unfold . So today we donated $ 200 to the red Cross like we did when Joplin Mo. had their Disaster !

Terrible week !

It has been a terrible Week !
On Wednesday we both had a appointment with our regular Dr. and by the time we went he was so weak that I could barely get him dressed and ready to go . By the time we where called in Hubby was looking so bad ! The Blood pressure was 70/over 50 and he looked like he was going to pass out . Dr. said to drink more fluids and that he was dehydrated . Nobody told him NOT to watch the Sodium  now . When he recuperated from his last Incident when he retained water ( 30 Pounds of fluid ) and spend 4 Days in the Hospital , We were all under the understanding that he  still had to watch his Sodium ! I guess we were wrong since W. was trying to lose weight , while he really needed to eat . He will not listen to me and I was crying by the time I brought him home and I had to see my Dr. C . He gave me a Phone Number for Hospice and that made me feel better . just to know that there is someone I can call put my Mind a little at ease . I had my Port flushed by Mrs. Bert and I went back home ! W was sleeping and I was glad , the rest of the day he was not coherent and he made no sense at all . Then his Brother called from Florida and I told him that he was going in and out of Dream and Reality World !
On Friday Night he was " packed " and he went to a Ordeal for 5 Hours .  He screamed out in pain and I gave him a Pain pill because he was in so much pain ! Finally today is Saturday and he feels a little better !

The greatest Mothers Day EVER

Our youngest Son and his Girlfriend came over to surprise me ! They made and brought us a  meal ! Beautyful  roses and my favorite guy " Si " from Duck Dynasty is on my new T- Shirt ! I was so happy that they  came over to spend time with us ! Well, our son saw that Hubbies Concentration was lacking logic ! He too believes that something is terribly wrong ! But last night he was getting worse with trying to tell me something and then ends up with a total different Subject ! It was sad how frustrated he got when he realize

I have to seperate my Blog , it will take a few weeks

Well , it is about 1 AM and I am sitting here trying to understand why things happen . My Emotions are running wild when I think about my Husband and his health ! He had a rough day again and I noticed that he had trouble concentrating and expressing himself with words . He gets frustrated when he gets like that . But he has noticed himself that something is not right with him . He told me today that he wants to be tested for dementia and Alzheimer !
In a way I am so worried about him but I also have to take care of myself ! I HAVE to go to get a Blood test on Monday because I will see Dr. C and I am sure he will chew me out since I haven't done my regular weekly blood Tests .
I went shopping around 11 AM because I needed fresh stuff for my Health Drinks . drank 3 / 16 oz Glasses and I feel so much better  when I drink them !
Tonight he was very antzi , he has been trying to clean the Livingroom ( which hasn't been a " living Room " for 2 Years since I got sick . 
This Blog was really just about Hepatitis C  but when I got diagnosed with lung Cancer I started to write about that . But now I want to change it again because I want to make a second Blog about my Life and living it with cancer ! So in the next few weeks I will work on that each day 3 hours . Until I have it all separated .