I will do no chemo until after Thanksgiving

Made up my Mind ! I will not go to Chemo until I take this Pet Scan on the 26th and on the 29th I will see my Dr. to hear the results ! Then I go from there ! I still feel bad l everything tastes the same ! I am always tired and I lay in Bed a lot ! But at least I have no pain right now !
The worst thing about Cancer is the fact that you have NO POWER over this damn cancer ! And that is what brings me down ! I am still depressed ( even though I am on Anti Depressant ! )
I am not afraid to die , but I surely don't want to suffer either . I put it in Gods Hands and for now because I don't have any Control over it .