RIP My dear Husband !

Nothing will ever be the same again ! You fought until the end ! I miss you so much and hope you are with your Mother and Sister and our Rhonda ! You gave me 30 good Years and I would be the Woman that I am today without you ! You where my Life ! My Friend and you guided me through life , but now I have to grow up and take my life into my own Hands ! I know you wanted me too . I did everything that you wanted about your " Celebration of your Life " and I know that you where with me when I did my speech ! Thanks for standing behind me ! Thank you 4 the wonderful Years you gave me for the Fun we had and for the Buddy system that we had together ! I will always love you and I will finish Brandon's History on the Linden's , just like I promised you ! I Our Boys are my Rock and so is our Grandson ! You  will live on in their Life's just like you will live on in my Life . There will NEVER be another Man that could even compare to you ! I miss you and I am so sad and heart broken , but I know I am selfish ! Now you have no more pain ,no more gasping for Air ! You fought like a SOLDIER that you are , and you had to leave me . I understand but in a way I ask myself why you ! But Chad is telling me that I was stronger and that is why he took you from me ! Maybe I am strong but I will NEVER be as strong as you where ! I love and miss you so much !

Another horrible Night !

It has been a terrible week for Weldon and  I can just watch him go downhill ! I told him tonoght that we need to go to the Hospital tomorrow ! It is Midnight and I am so worried about him . He tells me everyday what a Angel I am and I tell him that I will always be there for him !

Cough will not stop !

When  I got  up , Weldon told me that he thinks that he might should go to    the Hospital ! What ? What is happening ? I  keep  telling  him that everything will get better and that was enough for him to feel  better  ! After a couple of Hours he felt better . Last Night he was coughing so bad again that it worries me so him to have much !  I want him to have hope !
I went shopping since we needed groceries . It took me about a Hour after Winn Dixie and picking up his Meds before I came  home . He is doing good and  Dr. Morales  called his Medication in since Weldon has out of Cough sirup .
Liane is coming on the 20th of June and spends 8 weeks with us . I am so glad that she is coming ; she is such a dear Friend !

RIP JIM CLARK

What a change in my Life ! Nothing is the same and might never be the same again . With Weldon it is a constant up and down . Yesterday his legs filled a little with Fluid but after he took a Water pill he got better . Our oldest Son came by with our Grand daughter ! Yeah he was shocked how bad his Father looks ! It is a shame that I had to " make " him come ! I never know what I wake up 2 . Today he seems a little manic but I am not sure .
Saturday I picked up Steaks at our Veterans Club but I really wasn't myself all day . On Thursday Erna spend the Night , Weldon wanted to go to the Casino so we went . We ate there and then played a little and around 17:00 we left for home . After that her and me went to the Veterans Club and had a few Beers ( first time in a looooong time ) I left my Car there and picked it up the next day !

Another Friend is sick

My Friend Jim has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and I am really so sad about that ! It seems like anyone you see has one thing or another ! It is so sad ! I will finish writing this tomorrow ! Found out that his Lymphoma is stage 3 !

Tornados in Oklahoma

Yesterday we went to the Heart Doctor and he took him off of one Pill , now only 16 Pills !
Then we went to WD and bought some stuff picked up our Medications and went back home . Since I took a Pain pill yesterday I felt a little Energy so when we came home so I went in my Garden and started to trim more Trees ! Yup , up on that Ladder again ! It was 90 Degrees and 30 Minutes in the Heat was enough for me ... I took a 2 Hour Brake and went back out there for another Hour by then the Sun wasn't so bad !
Today I slept until 2 PM because I could not sleep last night and I was still up at 4 AM . So I started my day late but I fixed me my Juice and drank 2 Big Glasses ! Now it is 8:30 PM and I am beat because today I finished the " Cutting of the Trees " even went to the house next door that is still empty since 2005 and trimmed his crap because I am sick of the Owner not doing anything with this House . He comes by 2 times a Year and all he does is cut the Grass and leaves it laying there . I will have to get off my ass and talk to the Parish President again because I am fed up !
Anyway I will go and play some Games and then chill . Tomorrow I have to get up by 10 AM to get \
W 's Ultrasound of his stomach !
We are both in deep Depression because of the Oklahoma F5 Tornado that was 17 miles long and the destruction is devastating ! That is why I couldn't sleep because it reminded me of Hurricane Katrina ! I was crying and praying for those poor people ! I will never forget how I felt when we had to go to a Red Cross Shelter and it was scary also . You are in this big Building and thousands of people are laying on the Floor on Blankets and Cots ! My heart is braking while I watched it unfold . So today we donated $ 200 to the red Cross like we did when Joplin Mo. had their Disaster !

Terrible week !

It has been a terrible Week !
On Wednesday we both had a appointment with our regular Dr. and by the time we went he was so weak that I could barely get him dressed and ready to go . By the time we where called in Hubby was looking so bad ! The Blood pressure was 70/over 50 and he looked like he was going to pass out . Dr. said to drink more fluids and that he was dehydrated . Nobody told him NOT to watch the Sodium  now . When he recuperated from his last Incident when he retained water ( 30 Pounds of fluid ) and spend 4 Days in the Hospital , We were all under the understanding that he  still had to watch his Sodium ! I guess we were wrong since W. was trying to lose weight , while he really needed to eat . He will not listen to me and I was crying by the time I brought him home and I had to see my Dr. C . He gave me a Phone Number for Hospice and that made me feel better . just to know that there is someone I can call put my Mind a little at ease . I had my Port flushed by Mrs. Bert and I went back home ! W was sleeping and I was glad , the rest of the day he was not coherent and he made no sense at all . Then his Brother called from Florida and I told him that he was going in and out of Dream and Reality World !
On Friday Night he was " packed " and he went to a Ordeal for 5 Hours .  He screamed out in pain and I gave him a Pain pill because he was in so much pain ! Finally today is Saturday and he feels a little better !

The greatest Mothers Day EVER

Our youngest Son and his Girlfriend came over to surprise me ! They made and brought us a  meal ! Beautyful  roses and my favorite guy " Si " from Duck Dynasty is on my new T- Shirt ! I was so happy that they  came over to spend time with us ! Well, our son saw that Hubbies Concentration was lacking logic ! He too believes that something is terribly wrong ! But last night he was getting worse with trying to tell me something and then ends up with a total different Subject ! It was sad how frustrated he got when he realize

I have to seperate my Blog , it will take a few weeks

Well , it is about 1 AM and I am sitting here trying to understand why things happen . My Emotions are running wild when I think about my Husband and his health ! He had a rough day again and I noticed that he had trouble concentrating and expressing himself with words . He gets frustrated when he gets like that . But he has noticed himself that something is not right with him . He told me today that he wants to be tested for dementia and Alzheimer !
In a way I am so worried about him but I also have to take care of myself ! I HAVE to go to get a Blood test on Monday because I will see Dr. C and I am sure he will chew me out since I haven't done my regular weekly blood Tests .
I went shopping around 11 AM because I needed fresh stuff for my Health Drinks . drank 3 / 16 oz Glasses and I feel so much better  when I drink them !
Tonight he was very antzi , he has been trying to clean the Livingroom ( which hasn't been a " living Room " for 2 Years since I got sick . 
This Blog was really just about Hepatitis C  but when I got diagnosed with lung Cancer I started to write about that . But now I want to change it again because I want to make a second Blog about my Life and living it with cancer ! So in the next few weeks I will work on that each day 3 hours . Until I have it all separated .

I still have my Camper !

For some reason the silent Treatment has helped , he finally came to his senses and gave in !
in the last couple of days I have noticed that he is more confused then ever. Last Night he didn't go to Bed at all ! I kept waking up because I still heard the TV on . All Day today he was antsy and I kept telling him that he should take a Nap . Finally he gotten 3 Hours of sleep . His PTSD the BI Polar and the Depression of not being able to do anything ; has him on Edge ! And yes I am on the edge too .
I have not had a Blood test since 2 weeks ago . Dr. C  will not be happy but hey that is the way it is . I just don't have the time or the Energy to worry about that . For now , he has to come first and that is that .
I did however started  to drink Health Drinks and I want to see if it made a difference !
1 Avocado
2 Apples
1 Kiwi
1 Garlic Clove
1 Mango
1 teaspoon Basil
1 teaspoon Parsley
1 tablespoon Ginger
Juice of one Lime or Lemon
1 - 2 Cups of Coconut Water
1 - 2 Cups of Water 

It gives me 3 / 16 oz Glasses and I drink one after another . I love the taste and everything is Cancer fighting !
When I skip a day my Energy goes down and I am telling you I can feel a difference !
By the way : I am keeping a Video Diary on him for right now !
Next Wednesday I have to see Dr Casey and he does too , then I have to see my Doctor C right after ! I hope that I have enough time to bring him home and then go see Dr. C.

Sometimes you have to make YOURSELF HAPPY !

I met with 2 wonderful Ladies for Lunch and it was great ! Just to talk to another Woman mend so much to me ! And my Friend T.  and E .  were just the right Ladies to talk to  . One of them  lost her Husband a couple of Years ago and they used to be like " my parents " when I first came to the United States ! She told me that she has never felt better and she enjoys Life and goes dancing with her Boyfriend but she said " I will NOT cook for him nor will I take care of him ! Been there , done that " she just made me laugh so much today ! When I told them both about the " Camper " Situation , they where also astonished that my Hubby would make such a decision without me !
That's ok ! I went to the Casino afterwards and won 1000 Dollars ! Hello ! Yeah ... it was my Day today ! I didn't come home until 8 PM ! I left around 11:30 ! He said " I had no Idea where you went " So I told him that I saw my Doctor then Lunch then a Meeting with the  Ladies Auxiliary ! Yup , that is what I said ! That is my Story and I am sticking to it !

I lost the Battle over the Camper !

My heart is broken over the Travel Trailer  ! He was so upset that when our younger Son talked to him on the Phone , that he screamed and hung up on him ! MANIC !
I am sick to my stomach over this shit and I damn sure don't need this stress ! So , go ahead and get your shoe box if that keeps you from being upset over something so dumb ! But don't expect me to be happy about it !  No , I am not happy about it and more then likely never will be .
I understand that he hates to ask for help when he hooks the Camper up and he wants to be happy about independent , but a Shoe box ? I don't get it !
So now he wants me to be happy too ? No , sorry I can't !  I am just so disappointed that he made this Decision without even wasting one moment on how I feel about that and how this Stress affects my Cancer ! Selfish ? Careless ? Or just losing his Mind ?

Trade in my Camper ? Are you Nuts ?

Weldon has really changed , there s no kind word from him . He is now mainly Manic ! Last Thursday he came home and told me that he wanted to trade our 16.ooo $ Camper for a 15 Feet Shoebox ! So on Friday I drove with him to Hammond and looked at the Shoebox ! No I don't like it at all ! It has no Bed in it , only the Dinette Bed , if you want to call it a Bed ! I was shocked that he was willing to give up the Camper ( 19 feet ) that I paid for .  Our camper is small but we have privacy ! It is my second House ! I love it . He finally told me that it is to hard to get it hooked up ! The Heat and the cold gives him trouble  with his heart . But a shoebox ??? No fucking way ! I want to be comfortable and I will be a Bitch until he comes to his senses . For 30 Years I put up with all the shit he put me trough ! No more ! He could care less right now , how I feel as long as he gets what he want ! His hoarding has become so overwhelming to me that I don't even want to sit in our Living room ! He is sleeping in the Living room because he has to sleep at a incline and I sleep in the Bedroom ! Yesterday I opened a Bottle of Champagne and I am finishing it right now ! I need to be myself and right now I feel like a Puppet on a string !
I have started to be a Juicer ~ Liane's Idea . and I love those Drinks ! The make me feel so good !
Tomorrow I will go and leave the House ! I stopped by the Legion and yes John was there and I love talking to him because he seems to be so cool . John has become a really good Friend and so is Rhonda and Janet and Jim , They told me to call them when I need help ! Good Friends are rare ...

Survived my Company !

Thank God that my Company only stayed 2 days ! It was a sad Visit in a way : I guess they expected us to die soon ! Anyway I made the best out of it  and showed them the Beach took them to a Casino where I had 3 free meals ! We all won a few Bucks and everyone was happy . When they left Friday Afternoon I fell apart  and slept for 14 Hours straight . I was so worn out !
Went with Weldon to Cardiac rehab and I think now he understands how dangerous it was for him to wait so long  . His heart is weak and he only weighs 208 pounds now !
I saw my Cancer Dr. yesterday and had my melt down > Crying my eyes out and telling him the truth about my Husband > Also told him that I picked up a Cigarette again and he just gave me a hug and told me that it is like riding a Bike once you fall off you get back on Track !

Not up for company

What I went through with Hubby in the last couple of weeks is a DRAMA ! He filled up with fluid and then his feet , and before we knew it was 17 Pounds of fluid ! But the true numbers where 30 Pounds and his belly looked like it would burst at any minute !
Finally since I put him in the Hospital where they only kept him for 4 days ! The ER Dr. said 48 more Hours and he would have been dead !
He was constantly falling and I didn't know anymore what to do ! I wasn't happy that he came home so quick but I realize that Dr's and Hospitals don't give a shit unless they make money !  I am so weak now that I can get around barely . I drove him to his eye Appointment ; then I finally went for a Blood test !  Then we stopped by Subways and picked him up some food and we went home !  Got a phone call from Jerry this morning and NOW THEY ARE coming !  My God People ! You don't know how much stress that is for me ? But hey who cares ?

I might just end it

Monday morning at 11 AM I brought Weldon into the ER and he was admitted !  He was in severe Heart failure ! Finally  he is where he should have been 2 weeks ago ! Tuesday I spend all day with him and he slept most of the time .  He has lost some Fluid ( 4 Pounds ) and he can finally pee ! When I went home I was feeling relaxed because I knew he was taken care of . But when I came this morning and he told me that the Dr. will let him go in a day or so , I just came unglued and looked at his feet and said that he was not coming home until ALL the swelling came down and he told me not to question his Doctors and to get the fuck out of his room . I told him that I am leaving now and I would not come back and he should call his son's from now on ! I left !
I called our youngest and he calmed me down and told me that I needed to calm down and get some sleep and he will take care of Dad > He is my Strength < I feel somewhat better but I will no longer say anything anymore !

Hubby still so very sick

He is getting sicker and sicker ... and I am totally helpless . he now has 17 pounds of fluid god knows where . but he will still not go to the Hospital . I been worried sick about him and have put my treatment off so I can take care of him !  But I am at the end of my Sanity and even the sons are of no help right now ! But that's ok . Somebody has to help . I will call the Dr. Monday and maybe he can fit him in this week . we hardly get any sleep .

Needed some time out

Hubby is STILL sick and went to heart Doctor and he is retaining 15 Pounds of Fluid ! We don't know where the fluid is ! He sounds terrible and I have developed a Cough now !
Wednesday Erna and me went to the casino overnight ! Loved it !  Had a few Beers and just relaxed ! Called Hubby every so many Hours to check on him .

Hubby is sick again !

So much has happened !  Hubby is sick again with his Lungs it started a couple of days ago ! I wanted to bring him ti the ER but he refused !  I am wore out .  1 Haven't slept much since he got sick !
Found someone that will help me with my book ,  he is a Publisher . Well , I better get on it huh ?
If he is still this sick in the morning He WILL go to the ER .
Haven;t been much out of the house since last Sunday !

Strangers can make you feel like a Million Bucks

Yesterday we went to the Casino and had a really nice time ! I love to play the Penny slots :) Makes me happy and entertains me . We are usually gamble separately because we like different slots . Our favorite waitress was there and she gave me such a wonderful Gift . 2 Medallions that where blessed  by a Priest ;  a Virgin Mary and a St. P.   ( will add the name later  ) and a Prayer ! I was in tears and it reminded me of Mimi :) I need spirituality right now .
Tomorrow  have my appointment with Dr . C and the time of Truth has come ! There will be no more Illusions about my Cancer  , I have to know the truth and then I will deal with it .I will under no circumstances bring Weldon with me . He don't need any Stress right now and I might stop at the Veterans Club . Maybe I will drink Water as usually or I will tie one on , all depends on the outcome ! I been praying about it and it is in Gods Hands !

Hubby being sweet

Husband been real sweet this Morning ( 11:00 ) He made coffee while I was on the phone with his Cousins wife and he brought me a cup :)
When he is sweet he is really sweet but when he is not he is really NOT .  Hey ; I can't complain ,  we are sitting pretty and don't have to worry about where our next meal comes from !  But I feel bad for the rest of the people who are one Pay check away from being homeless .
I believe that he worries more about me dying then I can comprehend . 
I worked in my Front Yard for about 15 Minutes just loosing up the Dirt ; getting it ready for planting Flowers . I want to do some more tomorrow and also work in the back yard . Every little bit will help me . Staying busy when I can but my Energy is not back yet .

Please give me good News Tuesday

It is really scary to wait for Results !  Tuesday I will finally find out !
Elke called me today and it was a nice conversation . She was so grateful for the Money we send her and she couldn't believe that we did that ! But that is what Friends do ! A Friendship needs to be groomed and cherished and when one of your Friends is in trouble you just react . I love my Friends , Teri , Janet , Liane , Doris the two Elke's   and it  also my Online friends like Mimi , Kat , Tami and Al  that a treasure !  I think that they all have gotten me through this Crap .
I am weak today but hey tomorrow will be a better day !  Yesterday was a lazy day and guess what ? Today was a lazy day also !  <<< laughing >>>  I did get the Laundry done and that was about it . He wasn't feeling to good either so he slept half the day away .
When I don't get at least 6 Hours of sleep I get cranky . But he can sleep 10 - 12 Hours
( Depression ) Boy do I know about Depression !  But still , I want to make other people smile and every day is a struggle but I know my God and my Angels are with me to make me well and better . You can never ever give up ! Even when the odds are against you !

Need to self adjust !

Sometimes it is hard to keep my mouth shut ! I know that I am not the one that is making everything difficult ! So what I have Cancer ? So what I have Chemo fog ? My heart is telling me that I am just not that strong yet . Anybody that really knows me , also  knows that I hate any confrontations and arguing ! I swallow a lot before I blow up ! And when I finally blow up I am out of Control . A Nurse  told me  once that  a Illness or a Decease can make or brake a Marriage . Yes that is true !
Really not in the mood to get in to this subject !
All I know is this : I am no longer the person I used to be ! I have changed ! Seems to me like I have to really go deep inside of myself , in Order to make radical Changes ! But if he can't handle me when I am sick : then I don't believe we can make it . I know just the thought of it makes me feel uncomfortable . I would never get a Divorce ! After almost 30 Years  we can live together and we both just life our life's individually . 

Stressed out !!!

I am again so depressed that I am disgusted with myself ! My Day started really good . Husband had appointment with his Shrink and when he came home he told me that his Dr said to keep all stress away from him ! And that was enough to just push my Buttons ! I was instantly aggravated , while I was cleaning the kitchen trying to get the Table emptied  so I could actually lay something down on it hey it is a Table ! I done cleaned the Pantry out and labeled everything ! ( Wondering how long that last's ) I did Laundry and I cut the Grass  ! Yes I am exhausted but I am proud of what I done .
Tomorrow I have Lunch with Erna ; we are going to the Casino ! Yeah ... I think the House is caving in on me !
I might have to make another FB account since I know I been hacked and I have changed my stuff but I am still worried about it ! Crap !

2 days full of Energy !!!

I can't believe that I actually had another energetic day ! Thank you God for given me that uplift just when I needed it the most <3
I reorganized my  Pantry ( had to trow away some stuff that was expired ! ) He just constantly buys more stuff and today I showed him what I done  and he was impressed . I told him that I will clean corner by corner ( while I will get stronger and stronger every day ) and  that corner was to STAY  this way ! I took pictures of his mess and will keep on taken pictures and then blow them up and show him !  His Body Language showed me : he wasn't listening . But I can no longer worry about him because I have to take care of myself in order to get a grip on life again  ! I have never ever been selfish in my life but you know what ? This time I have to get a little bit selfish because nobody takes care of me !
 So I will start a brand new life now  : getting back in shape and  push myself even harder now ! My House is a disaster area and I am sick of it ! Lately we can't even really talk anymore because his astrological sign is Cancer and I am a Libra . When he goes in his shell ; there is less and lesser communication  !  Tomorrow I will start to work out even harder just to get my Body healthier !

Dr. C I am on my way !

I had a little trouble sleeping , last night ! I am sure it had something to do with some crazy WOMAN  on Facebook , after I made a remark on how games are just so time consuming and that I will  only play one game now  : someone made a statement that was just unbecoming !
Anyway I am getting ready for my Dr. Visit ! I am so excited and can't wait to get this pet scan done and then I have to wait a few days before I get my Result's  <<< waiting >>> Same game as the last time but this time the spot on the lung should be gone by now , since he gave me a mega dose of Chemical's in my LAST Chemo . So please God , be gentle whatever the outcome is ; I CAN TAKE IT but it would be so nice if I was in remission !
Well , Dr C was funny today  !  He asked me where my Husband was and I told him he is in his Cage !
He laughed and said  " Did you get a remote Control for the Pace Maker yet  ? " I laughed and told him " I would have to much fun " We laughed and I said to him " Dr. C  , the truth is my Husband is getting on my last nerve right now and trust me Doc I am better off for not having him with me "

Then I went to the Veterans Club because someone had a Birthday the day before and I couldn't go because I felt like crap , and I wanted to drop off a gift ! It was so nice to be around some old Folks who are just plain nice ;) We where cutting up and laughing and it was just so wonderful to see them all again ! I stayed 2 Hours bought the House a round of drinks and I drank my Water .
When I came home he wasn't home yet from his 2 PM Appointment and here I was :  had my appointment went to the V. Club and he was " shopping " again . Sooner or later he has to face the fact that he is a Hoarder ! I just about had it !

Seeing Dr. C tomorrow

Erna has lost some Heart Muscle because she did not go to the Doctor 2 weeks prior when she had all the symptoms  of a heart attack . She went to the Heart Dr, and after a EKG he told her to go straight to the Hospital . And she went ...
She is still not really feeling right but no more pressure on the Chest ! Just walking to the mail box makes her feel like she is out of breath .
This last weekend was nice , pain is manageable  and I actually ate a real Meal ! Yummy Macaroni and cheese and Swedish meatballs . I am feeling a lot stronger now even though I have my week days . Tomorrow I will see Dr. C and hopefully we are doing the PET SCAN  ! I am excited but yet scared ; will it all be gone ? I hope so !
Dennie is taking Commands now and things are looking up ! He already made progress with writing and he also gives a Thumbs up and he is just not " back " yet but I have high hopes that he will make it and come out of that !

Erna has no blockages

Erna had a  test , she has no blockages ! But she did have a Heart attack 2 weeks ago and I hope that her heart is getting stronger and stronger every day. But she has some dead Muscle under her Heart .

Pain is getting better !

 My Bones hurt and I also feel weak ; but the severe pain is doing ok !
Just found out that Erna is in the Hospital , irregular Heart beat . I will get dressed later and go see her , just have to wait a while .
I have been in Bed since last Chemo on the 7th . But I have to be patient ; because some people have more problems then others ! I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired ! But I am looking forward to some peace , no pain , and healing prayers .
I went to see Erna in the Hospital , Hubby went with me  . Steffi was there and I just love her :)
Anyway , right now we are waiting for news .

Beautiful Valentines Day

When I came back from Chemo ; I was amazed how Weldon surprised me with a beautiful  Teddy bear that is holding a Picture Frame , Strawberries dipped in Chocolate and a Card that made me cry because I felt his Love !
My Bones are aching and I had to take a Pain pill and 2 Muscle relaxers . I also put that Oil on again with Eucalypti and it helped my Legs and shoulders . My Chaw line hurts and that one pain pill really helped a lot . I know my Kidneys gonna hurt tomorrow , since I compared it to  my notes
Talked to Liane and we " unloaded " on each other . Our Friendship has bloomed in the last 2 Years and I love her like a sister ! We understand each other ...

he really did a great Job this year . He tries and I know he loves me ; but sometimes I forget that he is sick too .

I finally gave " Liberty "  a Hair cut the other day . she needed it . I still have not done " Sarge "  yet , But when I feel better then I will do him .

Tomorrow : LAST CHEMO

Well , nobody called this morning so I guess I get my Last Chemo tomorrow  ! I am so anticipating the last Chemo :) I am glad that it is over and I also worry because I am still not cancer free :(  But I will be , because I am strong and nothing can knock me down anymore ! I do realize how fucked up the last 2 Years have been but I am so ready to go back to the Gym and work out ! I have lost a lot of Muscle and I will lift them Weights again , just as I will beat that Cancer !
It has been 12 Years since I was diagnosed with Hep C and my Numbers are coming down suddenly ! I can't wait to see Dr. Albright ! I just think the world of him 

King Cakes delivered

Yesterday I went by Dr. Casey's Office and delivered 2 nice King Cakes ! Then I went to the Cancer Center and gave Blood ! Didn't have to wait long and I brought my new Paper work for the Blood .
On my way home I went by Dr. Albright's and delivered his 2 King Cakes since he also has a lot of people working for him . We enjoy " GIVING " and since we do have the best Doctors we must let them know !
Life is looking up a little bit . I just hope that my last Chemo is really my last one !
And I hope I have enough platelets to get the chemo ! It has been raining here for 2 days and it feels like the weather in Germany ! Nasty and dark ...

20/20 Vision

I took Hubby to the eye Dr . and his Vision is ALREADY 20/20 he was so amazed by that . I am so glad that he finally did it , we have been talking about ! When we came home he told me that he is driving to WalMart and to the Pharmacy ! " No you won't "  I am telling myself inside my head . Instead I tell him that he needs to put his eye drops in before he leaves  and once he did that he was out like a light ! I had to smile because Men are such babies ( hope Men don't read my stuff ) He has been out since 10:30 AM  and now it is 2:30 PM ! Must be some good eye drops !
I have not been feeling good today but I tried to get a few things done ! Still have to unload the Dishwasher and fold clothe . My House was never in such a chaotic state ! It made me realize how truly ill I am and it drives me crazy ! But I have already a Membership at a Gym and after I get to feeling better after my next Chemo and hopefully last ;I need to work out . I have lost a lot of Muscle tone and it bothers me too. Maybe I declare this Day as a officially " Bitch Day " .
Going over my Blood results I noticed one thing : My Liver is getting better ! For the ones that knows about Hepatitis C ; my AST went from 139 down to 50 and my ALT went down to 52 ! Now I am wondering : maybe this chemo really is helping my Hep C !
Well , he woke up and he is going to the Store ... What can I say ?

Eye surgery

Had to get up at 5 AM to drive Weldon to his eye appointment . I was surprised that he was done in no time ! After the surgery we went to the Cracker barrel and ate Breakfast and then home ! My eyes are burning from lack of sleep ! :)
Doctor said for him to take it easy for the next couple of days and he will see him tomorrow to take his eye patch off .
I just love to drive his Truck !!! It makes me feel so good when I drive it . I feel pretty good today and I am so grateful that the Man upstairs has given me a good day :)
Have to go to Yoville now !

Results !

Finally some good news ! Nothing is growing ! No New Growth or any Metastatic stuff going on ! I have one more Chemo next Thursday and then we do another Pet scan , just to make sure  everything is ok . The Doctor is optimistic and I am too . It is just so damn scary ! I will see the Dr. again in 3 Weeks and then we will see ...
Hey , I am happy nothing else is growing and for that I am so grateful !

More MRI's

I haven't been feeling good all week so I have not been doing any writing . My World is just so much more complicated  then before I found out about the Cancer . I have been getting little Headaches and my Neck started hurting again , so on Thursday I went for a MRI and it took at least 2 Hours before I was done . Naturally , Weldon did not even ask me how everything went . I didn't care so I said nothing !
I think about my Friend Teri and how she has to cope with her Son's Accident . She has been sitting by his Bed ever since he went in a Coma . She just called me and I am glad she is on her way back since she has a Appointment tomorrow . We will have Lunch some where . I miss her and I wish I could be there for her . Tuesday I have my Dr. Appointment and hopefully I get good news !

Yeah ... Yippie .... only one more Chemo to go !

When I got my Chemo yesterday , the Dr ordered me not to take the Steroids since they make me feel like I am on Speed ! So this time I received it through my IV . I sat there from 8:00 AM - 3:00 PM ! Some new Lady came in and she sat all the way in Corner .I could sense that she was just recently diagnosed ! I don't know what type of Cancer she has but she hates OBAMACARE > > > what a Idiot >>> I know we are all different ; but she just butted in on my Conversation with a old Lady ( 80 ) and tried to preach . But when she thought that she was so much smarter then me >>> the Foreigner <<< I had to correct her . She said Teddy Roosevelt was a Democrat  I said no but he was called a Traitor of his Party <<<the Republican Party >>> and he was one of the last GOOD Republican that gave a damn about our Country .
Anyway today I went and got my Shot of Neulasta that helps my Platelets to reproduce !
I feel sick today but I can take it ! In three weeks I have my LAST Chemo . Then we scan again . But the port stays in for about another Year, in case something else is growing .
Today I will stay in Bed :) Just hanging out with my Dogs ...

Chemo this Thursday 24th of January

I was thinking  today , why did I get Hepatitis C ? And why , when I finally feel a little better from my last Ordeal with a new Medication that was so posed to cure me ; and that Rash almost killed me , I get diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer ?
But I believe that everything happens for a reason and I just have to figure out what God has in mind for me ! There is nothing I can do and that is the hardest part : that I have no Control over it . Most of the time I wonder if I could ever get healed ? But I am also a smart Woman and know what Stage 4 means .
I have finally laid the off the Cigarettes . Only cheated  yesterday ! Isn't that sick ? When I first got diagnosed I tried to stop and I did well, but then I started again . I told myself " What harm can it do , I already have Lung Cancer " But all that is crazy ! I have to get a Grip on this . Day 4 with Patches ! Went to the Dr today and told him about my Headaches and my Neck . He scheduled the MRI for me for the 31st in SMH at 10 AM . This Thursday January 24th I will receive my Chemo ! Yuk ...

Disney World was great

We have made the Trip and it was so cool . Our Grand daughter who lives in MS . came with us , she is 17 and then we hooked up with our Grand son and his 2 Boys Austin and Jordan  and  Shelby who is Rhonda's younger daughter ! We all met at the Hotel in Florida .
We ran into a few Obstacles but fixed them !
It was such a great Trip ! Having our Grand kids and Great Gr. Kids was amazing ! We really had a wonderful time ! I will post pictures later !

Everything is taken care of

We took care of the Reservation for the Suite made for 8 ( 12 min from Disney ) And we can bring our 2 Poodles with us ! Yeah !!!!!
Now we found out on Military.com that Disney is offering a special for Veterans and retired Military ! ( Well , we have to go near a Base to pick up the Tickets and then each person can get a 4 Park Tickets for $ 99 instead of 45 $ a Ticket per person )
I guess it paid to have a Military Man ! But his Bi Polar drives me nuts sometimes but we love each other and either one of us would ever leave one another !
The last 2 Years where hell ; first the reaction to the " Teleprevir " for my Hep C and I thought I was going to die ! That was the worst ! Then when I was diagnosed in April 2012 with Cancer I actually broke for the first time since " Katrina " in 2005 ! The same Year we lost our Girl Rhonda

 

But you know what ? This Year will be so much better ! I just know it :) I know she is still around because I feel her around us ! We will never forget you Rhonda ! You will always be our Girl !